Wishful Thinking!

 

I spent Valentine's Day 2026 watching the 50 Shades of Grey movies. I watched all three in order back to back to back! It really triggered me making me thing of the last around 8 years of my life and how I really wished to serve my owner of the past 8 years for the rest of my life but it wasn't meant to be.

It was very depressing watching the 50 Shades movies even though they were better than what I thought they would be because I wished I had that type of relationship with the girl I served and bent over backwards for the past 8 years.

I would have been her slave including financial slave the rest of my life if she stuck to her word and she and I could have made things work including with me attempting to make things work financially to continue to do and pay for the things I love. It got tiring being broke for someone who didn't appreciate me half the time.

I was depressed last night missing her but I didn't reach out to her in anyway. I just laid in bed in my own misery.  It was depressing but somehow I got through the three movies and I went to sleep afterwards.

I had a dream of my last owner a couple of weeks ago and we texted each other for two days or so before she pulled the Lucy with the football routine. She will build me up like everything is going to be fine only to pull the football out from underneath me.

FemDom including FinDom used to be my thing. I had multiple Owners in the past decades, and none of it panned out to my ideal fantasy which was being a slave to the right person for the rest of my life. All of it gave me was good content for my HARD R Novels and my TELL-ALL Autobiography "Borrowed Time: The Lee Lunsford Story"

I have virtually given up on my kinks because nobody is serious. Nobody keeps their word to me, and things never go the way it was promised. I can honestly say that is a lifestyle as a submissive I am done with and watching the 50 Shades Trilogy filled me with the idea to how I will incorporate my FemDom FinDom Lifestyle into my TELL-ALL Autobiography.

In a way I am glad this lifestyle is behind me. There is just nobody I want to practice this lifestyle with anymore because this lifestyle only giving me writing content and costing me years of my life gives me the understanding that this lifestyle cost me more than it gave me, and I don't wish to travel down this forbidden road again because it just not worth it!

For Full Details of my FemDom FinDom Lifestyle buy my TELL-ALL Autobiography "Borrowed Time: The Lee Lunsford Story" upon its release!